Watch out Bradt Guide!

Things the guidebooks didn’t tell you about…

GHANA

1. Sundays are unique days in Ghana-
1. First of all, there is lots and lots of church going on.  People tend to be pretty dressed up and you can hear preachers either yelling at their constituents, or trying to yell over each other pretty much all the time.  However, there are some really important things to know about Sundays. 
                                               i.     You will NOT be able to get a tro-tro without going to a station.  Everyone goes to funerals all weekend, but specifically Sundays.  You can spend hours standing by the side of the road before paying an obscene fee to take a drop taxi on Sundays. 
                                             ii.     Want a fresh coconut?  God’s most amazing food? Want to buy one on the street for the equivalent of about 30 cents?  After days of unsuccessfully attempting to figure out the coconut system here (sometimes they are there, sometimes they aren’t), we went out on Sunday morning and BAM!  We saw 7 coconut carts in like 5 minutes.  Luckily I was carrying a big bag so we took some home with us.  But now you know.  Sundays=coconut day. 

2. Fake names are not only fun, but useful-
1. It all started when Liza and I were walking home one night and a friendly guy on a bike rode up to talk to us.  Asking us what our names were sparked something deep within me and I produced the names Janice and Lindsey.  We’ve adapted our names over the past weeks to become Janass and Betty, who are from Ontario and New York respectively.  Its been great to be able to basically mess with people for prolonged periods of time without a) doing any harm, and b) without giving any real personal information.  WARNING: if you can’t keep a straight face, some people will begin to get suspicious, and ask you to repeat yourself, so stick to your story. 

3. When talking to men, lie!- 
1. Tell them you are married!  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  They might just ask if you have consummated your marriage, or if you want to have a Ghanaian husband too.  Chances are if they have gotten this point, they’ve already proposed, so really the only defense is to declare your undying love/commitment to another.  Lying also helps when you asked for your number!  Can’t remember your digits? Perfect.  Don’t have a phone?  Better.  Lent it to your huge, handsome husband?  That could also work. 

4. Don’t pet the animals-
1. Ok, so the guidebooks told you this.  And we told her not to as well.  She did anyways.  She had to get rabies shots.  Solid work. 

5. Bring a headlamp!
1. Well, you told me.  Specifically Sean Hunter, and Emily Helpenstell.  Guess what happens?  Sometimes the power goes out in all of Ghana.  And although I did have a flashlight, Liza had a headlamp, and while funny, it’s not easy to share one of those puppies. 

6. Don’t bring it, if you want to bring it back-
1. Everything you own will be really nasty.  It collects; sweat, dirt, the hand prints of small children (ok, curious adults too), bug spray, any food you’ve eaten recently, and all sorts of other nasty things.  Also, hand washing your cloths is nice and all, but I have to be honest it doesn’t work as well, so the nastiness just kinda builds up.  Liza and I have a popular phrase which is “not the grossest thing you’ve touched/eaten today”. 
2. This also has a sub-category of ‘don’t wear money belts unless…’ you are wearing an entirely khaki outfit, a bucket hat, think you are about to go on a safari, want to look like tucking into your pants for an entirely different reason.

7. Don’t look at the other white people-
1. We’ve talked about it a lot and we aren’t quite sure why, but when white people pass each on the street, there is an obvious aversion of eyes, and attempt at avoiding each other at any cost.  We suspect it is that we get so much uninvited attention at other times that we don’t really feel like making shallow connections solely based on the amount of melanin we happen to have in our skin.  Or maybe we are trying to change the impression that people have here that all white people know each other. 

8. Ghanaians don’t know some random things-
1. Remember dinosaurs?  Well, some Ghanaians actually don’t even know what they are.  I attempted to explain my point by exclaiming loudly “Not even t-rex?!” at which point I realized that was likely not going to help. 
2. The questions of  “how do you make fufu in the US?” is a surprisingly common type of question.  Explaining that we don’t eat fufu, jolof rice, kenkey, or many other Ghanaian foods is tough because some people actually don’t know what other foods your might be eating.  Try explaining the concept of sushi, raw veggies, or coffee that isn’t instant.

9. There are new touching rules-
1. Just think for a second.  How weirded-out would you feel if a random person on the street of say Portland Oregon walked up and touched you.  Maybe they just tapped you with their fingers as you passed, or maybe you are in a taxi and they press the back of their hand to your face as they walk by.  Reasons?  What to know what a white person feels like?  I had a woman once exclaim “you have soft skin!” in more of an alarmed and confused manner than I felt was really necessary. 
2. Additional changes to the touching rule- hand holding.  Go in for a hearty handshake and you may be alarmed to be confronted with (wait for it…) a hand holding situation.  People may just stand there for an alarmingly long amount of time simply holding your hand.  In addition, if you are with someone who feels comfortable with you, or likes you (not even romantically) they may try to hold your hand while walking, or talking.  Stay calm, and try the ‘going for your phone in your bag’ method if you are too alarmed, or even the ‘is someone calling me?’ quick turn away.